Dear Alex

Dear Alex,

I can't believe that you are already three months old. Where did the time go? It seems like yesterday that we brought you home from the hospital. The last few months have been some of the hardest in recent memory for your dad and I. No other experience in our lives have rivaled the level of commitment or work that it has taken to care for you.

But it hasn't been only you that we were taking care of over the past couple of months. Your birth coincided with a couple of tough events in our lives.  One of these days we'll tell you about this crazy time. Perhaps we'll share a good cry and hopefully a good laugh afterwards.

One silver lining has been seeing how much our family has grown closer through these challenges. You'll find out one of these days how stubbornly self-sufficient both your father and I were, two people accustomed to doing everything themselves.  Can you believe I refused help because I thought that I could do everything on my own? What a ding-dong I was! Weeks of exhaustion, sleepless nights, worry and stress left us helpless. We meekly waved a white flag, and while it was painful for us, admitted we needed help.  In our most vulnerable state, we experienced the most amazing evolution in our relationships with family and friends. Pulled together by necessity, our ties have been brought closer and strengthened in the most beautiful manner possible.

Did you know that because of you I look at my mom differently? Even though I have known this woman all of my life, seeing her care for you so lovingly and patiently has made me look at her in a different light. I will never forget how she watched over you to make sure you napped throughout the day, diligently patting you back to sleep whenever you stirred. Dad and I are forever grateful for the many nights when she would take care of ALL of the night feedings so that we could rest. And she cooked such wonderful foods from my childhood. Oh how spoiled we were!

And then there is your other grandmother. It's been a long while since your father and his mom has bonded together in such a meaningful way as this experience. Because of the c-section my care for you was limited. I watched while your dad learned from his mom how to give you a bath, how to warm a bottle and the best way to take care of a diaper rash. I'll never forget how we all cried when she left after staying with us for two weeks. It was as if she had gotten back the son that she was so close to from long ago ... before he went off to college and was propelled even farther away with his demanding career.

And then there is your father. I have known your father for close to a decade, and I am still finding deeper layers of him to appreciate. One of these days I'll tell you more about all that your dad and I went through before and following your birth. He has been my partner, best friend, confidante, and protector. There is no doubt in my mind that I have become a better mother by watching and learning from him how to care for you.

I look at you these days and I am so grateful for the humbling and loving grace that you have brought to our family. I still marvel at how lucky we are to have gotten such a precious and sweet child.

Love,

MOM